Against better judgement this week, Drew and I went to a “bar hour” event for our 10th-ish high-school reunion.  The ironic part is that neither of us actually graduated with these people, for a variety of circumstances.

Anyhow, “better judgement” wasn’t so great in this case, as it turned out to be a really good time, overall.  It was a bit awkward a first, especially since there were less than 5 people there when we showed up a half-hour “late”; It didn’t help matters any that neither of us were actually pictured in the yearbook, which was a bit confusing to the hostesses.  Read on for the actual point of this post, and a further description of the event.

I was also a bit surprised that most of the people I found myself talking to were people that wouldn’t really have associated with me when we were in school.  In fact, I didn’t actually see anyone that I would have described as  a “friend” when we were in high school.  I did talk to quite a few people that I went to elementary school with, though, which was awesome.

When you’re in a social setting with a bunch of people that you don’t really know (but have some common history with), conversation starters generally fall into one of a few categories:

1. How are you?
2. Are you still in town?
3. What do you do?

A few variations exist, of course, but one of these 3 questions start most conversations.  I’ve always wondered why someone I haven’t seen in 10 years and who probably didn’t care back then wants to know how I am? Moreover, if they’re so interested, why wait until now to find out? I understand that it’s a social convention, but it sure doesn’t make much sense.  On the second point, “Are you still in town?” seems like a very closed-end question and not much of a conversation starter, as is any question that can be answered completely with either “Yes” or “No”.

Probably the most interesting question is “What do you do?” The answers, however, that most people are expecting are far less interesting.  When most people say “What do you do?”, they’re really asking “For whom do you work, and what is your title there?”;  I used to answer that question in the expected manner, but I’ve come to realize that my “day job” is such a small portion of what I do that I almost feel like I’m cheating people with that answer.

By the time I started shaking hands on Friday night, I’d resolved myself that I was going to avoid the boilerplate “employer and title” answer at all costs. I started out trying to explain how I “do” lots of things, in terms of work, travel and social organization (My apologies to both Hillary who was the first to hear this somewhat clumsy explanation and to BRAN, my involvement with which was inadvertently omitted the entire night.)

Over the next few hours, I ended up streamlining my answer, often starting with “What haven’t I been doing?”, asking a few questions about specific aspects of the other person’s life and based on their response, providing a more detailed description of my own.  At one point, someone who’d been listening politely said “You weren’t kidding when you said you were doing more things than not”.  That was an interesting realization, but one that I’m sure applies to most people, when they really think about it.

As for what is is that I’ve been doing, have a look around;  This website is as close to a complete answer as exists.

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